Ah, December..... the holidays....the month when the "should be's, "must be's", "need to be's" and "used to be's" come crashing into our lives. The normal ebb and flow of our feelings and thoughts must now make room for the onslaught of expectations of how we and things "must be" and what the holidays are supposed to look like. Grief is amplified, anxiety is heightened, and the stress of getting everything done feels like too much when we are already anxious, sad, or jammed, emotionally.
Being mindful, and in the present is a self-care remedy that I highly recommend and encourage- especially if you are struggling with past memories about the holidays or future worries about expectations. These are common thought patterns that lead to anxiety. What being mindful in the moment looks like in a practical way, is setting an intention each day to spend as much time as you can being fully present in the day and the moment you are living in, and recognizing when you are not. When you notice that you are spending more time reliving past times that cause your mood to shift downward or spending time with worry about an upcoming event or situation, changing you now- acknowledge it and gently bring yourself back into the present moment. Take a deep breath and sit with the feeling for a minute and just breathe. Count to 60 as you are inhaling and exhaling. Feel the feeling and continue breathing. In both the breathing and the counting, you notice that you CAN take control of your thoughts - therefore stopping them from colliding with the painful feeling that memory or future may bring. Ask yourself what you are gaining by going backward to a painful memory or by creating worry that hasn't yet happened.
Any activity that brings you back into the moment is a way to strengthen your emotional self-care. Try approaching December one day, mindfully at a time. Stop and take in your surroundings in a full, sensory way.... more on that next time..... In gratitude... Dot Schmitt, LMHC
